Πέμπτη 10 Ιανουαρίου 2013

loving you is an integral element of my personality and demeanor. you are an integral element of my personality and demeanor.



I open my eyes in the morning. your smiling face comes to mind.it's like opening a window and the sun is you.  I get overwhelmed with sensations of joy, love and enthousiasm for live.
joie de vivre , I think the French call it.
that's what you are to me.
I am aware how unrealistic my words sound. if you didn't know me you'd think I'm some creepy pervert* hitting on you.
but you do know me.
you know that my words sound extreme and unrealistic only because my feelings are extreme and unrealistic. please note that their hyperbolic status does not render their veracity null (neither the words nor the feelings).**
I remember your stupid theory that these feelings would deflate with the passage of time because they were only by-products of my then newborn lust.
even my lust wasn't genuine to you but a mere symptom of my middle age crisis.
I was insulted with how easy it was for you to disregard anything I had to say. 
I remember how easy it could have been to retort by calling you a young cynical bitch.***
I chose to swallow my pride (which believe it is the hardest thing a man has to do).
I know I'm not writing anything new, anything you don't already know. it's just that the moments that I think of you are so great in numbers and so immence in stature that I want to share them with you.
the life span of the feeelings, of the moments is a mystery that only time will solve.

allow me to love you with the passion of a madman until then, Mary Jane



*sometimes Ido feel like a creepy pervert when I'm around you but that's your fault because you are so damn sexy.
**maybe I have being watching too much "Big Bang Theory. I am starting to sound like Sheldon.
***I also remember with the greatest amount of nostalgia how sweet and innocent you loooked at the time (and young and bitchy)

Παρασκευή 4 Ιανουαρίου 2013

Me arrodilla y estas feliz

I have no reasons to be optimistic.
I don't need reasons.
just a smile.
on your face.
your face is thousand miles away.
because it's attached to your head
which is attached to your body
which I love.
I know you don't like it when I talk like that
it makes you unconfortable
you've made it clear
that you are not in love with me
nor will you ever be.
I agreed for us  to be best friends for the simple reason
that I cannot live without you.
you are an addictobsession.
my addictobsession.
other men on the ship blow their money on gambling, on drugs
or they wait until we are on port and they blow it on women, gambling and drugs.
I stash all my money in a box.
my box of dream.
in which dream you take me up on my offer,
you throw some clothes in a suitcase, we buy a shiny car with a loud stereo
and we drive across America all the way to San Diego.
while we are on the ferry to Coronado island
you reach over and kiss me
"Should I stay or should I go" is playing on our loud stereo
you whisper in my ear "stay Charlie stay".
at that moment your eyes are shinier than our car
shinier than America
shinier than any sea
I reach over and kiss you.
that's what I live for.
I have no reasons to be in love.
I have no reasons to be optimistic.
I am.


Πέμπτη 3 Ιανουαρίου 2013

the maternal capacitance (s2e15)


best episode of "the big bang theory" ever !!!
the one where Leonard's mother (the neuroscientist) pays a visit.
the only sad thing about it is that she hugs her son the same way you hug me (attempt at humor?).
I never thought watching a sit com would make me realise how much I miss you.
until now.
I miss you Mary Jane.
terribly.
happy new year.